Guest blog from Nick Evans. Read more of his blogs HERE

Now that we are nearing the end of the 2nd week of January, 2016 is well and truly in full swing. The goals we have set for ourselves maybe a distant memory or a very present reality.
Whichever side of the fence you sit on, change and transformation is one of the hardest things to achieve. If you have achieved it this year and are still committed, I salute you. If you haven’t managed to maintain these principles, it’s OK. You are not alone.

January is the month of change. At least in the media it is. We are bombarded daily by the Change brigade;

Stop smoking! Lose weight! Eat Healthy! Stop drinking! or my personal favourite – Dry January! (Before going on the sauce for the next 11 months destroying your liver)

Or how about, ‘Transform your body in our 28 day challenge’. Selling messages to get fit through Boot-camps, fitness regimes, training courses and health programmes.

We are bombarded with these messages – selling a service, a lifestyle, a product or just a plain solution. Of course they mean well and have our best interests at heart – the get healthy – But they are also earning a shilling or two. We are consumers of health, especially those who haven’t got it.

The health and wellness industry is huge. Personal trainers, nutritionists, coaches, health insurers, gyms, wellness products, spa’s and events jostle for your attention and money. They all show what they have done and how we can do it by buying their book, following them on social media or buying their time.

We all need help of course, not many of us can do it alone and we as humans always feel better when connected, in a community, rewarded or shared experience. It helps motivates us and makes it easier to change.

But it’s becoming such a monster. Are they more concerned with helping us or helping them make money? Actually, in thinking about it, what’s wrong with making money out of it? (that’s for another day)

I walked into WH Smith today, ignoring the mound of Galaxy bars on sale for £1and range of Nigella cook books reduced to £3, but I was struck by how many ‘health transformation’ books in the best sellers list.

Joe Wicks’ – The Bodycoach, ‘Lean in 15’, Davina Mcall’s – ‘How to quit sugar’, Dr so and so’s ‘Healthy Recipes’, The Hairy Biker’s ‘Not a fat so and so anymore cook book’ – there were tons.

All are well skilled, all look beautiful, all are valid with some excellent things to say and gorgeous looking food/pictures/design.

But what on earth do you do when you stare at this wall of healthy choices? What book do you buy? Where on earth do you start if you want to change your life?

Is it the smoking? Is it the sugar? Is it the job? Do I want to get fit? Do I want to lose weight? Should I do a challenge like a marathon or 10K? Should I get a relationship or make the one I’m in better, do I want to be happier? Spend more time with my friends? Get a hobby? Put down social media and pick up a book?

Information overload!!!!! It’s overwhelming, especially if you have no idea where to start.

It’s a well known human trait that most of us don’t actually change until we are forced too. Either a health scare, a rock bottom or we just get sick and tired of what we are doing. When the pain becomes too much we are backed into a corner to change.

This doesn’t just apply to addicts or alcoholics of course, it applies to most of the human population. We seek radical cure rather than radical prevention.

My Uncle Ken from Llanelli (he say’s ‘and those’ at the end of his sentences – no, really he does in a heavy Llanelli accent, it’s insane and hysterical) has dedicated his life to wearing Farah trousers. If you don’t know what they are, they are effectively reasonably tight but comfortable slacks that found fashion in the 80’s as part of the 80’s casual look. This made middle aged of the time wear them thinking they were ‘with it’. Sadly the fashion trend soon passed, but his commitment to wearing them continued to this day. I’m sure in his mind he still thinks he’s ‘with it’ ‘and those’. I think he’ll be buried in them in a Farah lined coffin.

Anyway, he loved eating rubbish. Chips, 8 slices of bread with every meal, cooked breakfasts, the full monty every day. No exercise, But he wasn’t overweight, he looked OK, apart for the Farah’s. (and those)

Then one day he had shortness of breath and went to see the doctor. Within 48 hours he was in hospital having a quadruple heart bypass. (He insisted the surgeon’s wore Farah’s too) – which saved his life. (and those)

He subsequently radically changed his whole lifestyle. Diet, no bread, no fried grub, no processed junk, cycles on his exercise bike every morning (In a Farah tracksuit) and radically changed. Why? Because he had to that’s why.

But what of those of us who want to change, but don’t know where to start? Where there’s so much you need to change it’s like looking at Everest thinking, ‘Jesus Christ I’ll never climb that!’

Do we honestly want something to go wrong before we transform? Like Uncle Ken (and those). Of course not,  Nobody would logically wish for that. But when you’re in deep mire, when you really don’t see a way out – how many of us have wanted some kind of external force to help our hand?

But what if something did go wrong and we are not fortunate enough to get the opportunity to change? It’s a real dilemma. I guess that’s why there are so many books on the shelves because so many of us have exactly that dilemma.

All that went through my mind as I looked at all the health, wealth and happiness books on display today.

Oh and 3 things;

1 – Why are they not saying HOW to do this?

OK Mr Body Coach – that’s all great and I’m pleased you’re shifting 200,000 copies of the book and transforming people with ‘lean in 15’ – but what about when you can’t even put down the diet coke and pick up a pear juice? What then? How do you change? How do you embark on a healthy lifestyle? How do you sustain it?

What happens if you really want to stop drinking/smoking/overeating – but find you can’t, or you’re scared or unable or willing but lapse? What then?

Do we identify with the glitzy healthy gorgeous looking white teethed Adonis/goddess guru or the person who has walked in our shoes?

How do you get from that to healthy and happy? That was what I felt was missing from the shelves today.

2 – Overwhelming

Where do I start? Do I try and tackle one thing at a time or should I try the lot? It was overwhelming looking at all the choice of advice on lifestyles, recipes, healthiness, let alone actually doing it!!!! In the end it was too much and I had to go and get a cup of tea. Exhausting this health lark.

What do I tackle first and where do I go to do it? Therapy? AA? Counselling? Coaching? Personal Training? Boot-camp? Church? Alpha course?

When we  become overwhelmed it’s so easy to seek solace in the very things causing us pain in the first place. That vicious circle has then returned. Ouch!

3 – Compare and Despair – It’s OK for them.

The old favourite. ‘Look at those successful, happy health people – they can do it but I can’t’ – that old mindset designed to keep you in everlasting pain and misery.

I’m not going to lie I spent a majority of the day in self piteous misery today, for many reasons, so seeing all those happy, healthy successful people just rubbed it in and led me into a spiral of doom that luckily a coaching call with a tip top friend helped drag me out of.

I felt overwhelmed on a personal, health, professional and lifestyle level. That’s almost jackpot there. I wanted to ‘check out’ – It all felt too much and when ‘compare and despair’ teams up with self pity – oh man you are in for a ride of doom. That’s not dealt with in ‘Lean in 15’ – but then again perhaps what you put into your body directly affects the thinking, low moods and negativity – so he’s clearly onto something there.

So, yes I think we have established change is hard. Transformation can be daunting. I’m daunted as I have an awful lot to transform. But climbing Everest needs training, planning, work, effort and lot’s of layers. It isn’t just done by looking up at it and going ‘lets go’. it takes time. One step at a time. I know it’s dull but it’s true.

One small step at a time my lovelies. My small step today is replacing normal milk with Rice milk and sweetener with natural honey type stuff.

To be fair tea tastes like something a wild animal has pissed out but I’m told it’s better for me and small changes can lead to bigger ones along the line.

Keep it in your head people. We can change, we just need to know what we want to change too and then find a way to help facilitate that no matter how long it takes. I’m with you.

Remember, we’re all in it together. Some are on the super highway and some in a mobility scooter on the pavement (clogging it up for the rest of us). But WE ARE ALL on it and by Christ doesn’t it feel good?

Love and Health,

Me love you long time

Nicky Evans